Category: Welcome

June 22nd, 2015 by consolidatedcoolness

We all come across those things, events, people and moments that cause us to spontaneously blurt out, “cool.” This is a repository for just that – Coolness in all of its forms.

Yours truly will continuously canvass, collect, compile and communicate copious quantities of “cool” collated and compartmentalized in this compendium of coolness for your consumption and consideration. Yes, I think alliterations are cool – kinda.

You may be wondering, “what is the criteria for cool, here?”

“Ah, mon cher, zat es determined by moi.”

“Sacrebleu!” you say, “Zat is biased. Subjective. Opinionated. Dictatorial!”

To which I can only reply, “Oui.”*

Yes, Consolidated Coolness is completely capricious, arbitrary and a number of other adjectives that you can correctly assign to it. It is also authentic and honest representing this author’s genuine opinion with which you are free to disagree (except where prohibited). If you’ve come here looking for completely fair and balanced reporting, look elsewhere. However, for those who need it, I have distilled my approach down to this simple formula: Cool > Sucks.**

Likewise, if you’ve come here looking for my opinion on things that don’t make the “cool cut” don’t bother. I won’t waste my time writing about things that fail to live up to my standard of coolness. So, if there is something or someone that in your not-so-humble opinion should be featured here, but you don’t see it, it is likely due to one of the following two reasons:

1) I or my minions haven’t gotten to it yet
-or-
2) It ain’t cool.

I will consider suggestions for cool reviews, though I make no promises to actually take the time to conduct the research and write the review. Time, money, distance and personal biases all come into play. Over time, I will invite others to write about their own experiences in coolness and included them here in some form such as guest editorials or links to their blogs or sites, but naturally only if they too can make the cool cut. So, if you are a connoisseur of cool, feel free to send in your recommendations for Consolidated Coolness. You may just be included and wouldn’t that be cool?

*My sincerest apologies to the French, French speakers everywhere and even cartoon characters with really bad French accents for my liberal butchering of such a lovely language.

** The actual formula is a bit more complicated and involves a hula hoop, a can of light whip cream, some clothes line and a slide rule.

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